I need to stop browsing cmu.misc.market...

VLSmooth · Post by **VLSmooth** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 8:36 pm

Although this is hilarious.

Date: Mon, 15 Sep 2003 19:57:17 -0400
From: age <age@andrew.cmu.edu>
Newsgroups: cmu.misc.market
Subject: Looking for a Date...

Looking for a straight female CMU student, over 18,
shorter than 5'6".

Top Five Reasons to Date Me:
(meant to be taken lightly, but
totally truthfully)

5) I have no qualms about sharing my passions and my motivations with you.
I will candidly answer almost any question you could ask me.

4) I have a tendency to rush into the ^Ócute^Ô side of a relationship within
a week, doing random thoughtful things that I think are sweet, such as
bringing over your favorite food.

3) I write music. A lot. If you make me really sad, you may immortalized in
a sappy song about unrequited love. If you make me happy, I may write many
songs just for you and you alone.

2) I date exclusively. Never worry about jealousy problems because of me;
they just won^Òt happen.

2) I have a sensitive side and I^Òm not afraid to show it; but I^Òm
definitely straight. And if any tough guy is reading this I am prepared to
kick him and run away very very fast.

1) I^Òm short (5^Ò4"). Not a plus, you say? Haven^Òt you always wanted to be
looked up to by someone? Now literally is your chance (and if you happen to
be tall I will be looking into your eyes, not your chest). And for all you
short women who are sick of having their arms tired while dancing (or necks
strained while conversing) with tall men, I can provide that relief you^Òve
been looking for. Plus, I give excellent free neck/arm massages, and
nothing has to happen afterwards. I can take jokes in stride about myself
and if they^Òre funny I might even laugh at them.

So if all of those reasons are not enough for you. I have one more:
0) I^Òm a virgin. No STDs, no other girl's memory to compete with, and best
of all, I don^Òt expect sex. It never happened before!

seriously, though, if you want to go out sometime,
give me a ring:
(860)-670-6113.

-- Adam Edison

Peijen · Post by **Peijen** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 8:43 pm

it's not hilarious ...

you need to get a life

VLSmooth · Post by **VLSmooth** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 8:54 pm

1) It was funny to me, and that's what matters
2) VERY high-chance it was a left-logged-in-post
3) The ensuing thread was amusing

If it was serious, then it's not funny. However, the odds are definitely stacked against that, but not impossible (like the true misc.market senior Matrix ticket date offer from last year).