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awesome
Posted: Mon May 22, 2006 10:53 pm
by Jonathan
I have figure out how I want to be buried. I need a giant tomb on the moon or possibly some other planet's moon, filled with booby traps. And at the very bottom, I will be buried. In a lead coffin. And inside the lead coffin will be second coffin made out of enriched uranium. And I'll be inside that.
I'd like to see the goddamn graverobbers even try.
Posted: Mon May 22, 2006 11:49 pm
by George
No good. Eventually all the traps will be sprung or disabled, if only by the mass of corpses. What you need is either a trap that disposes of the bodies for you, or some kind of undead janitor. I suggest being buried in the heart of a star, or better still, a black hole. Either one should buy you several billion years without graverobbers. And if you're lucky, the universe will have imploded by then, making the point moot.
Alternatively, you could just have one doomsday weapon and make sure everyone knows it. The people living around your tomb will keep the graverobbers away out of fear.
What I want is to distribute dozens of tombs full of traps distributed thoughout the world, with each containing a clue as to how to find the next. The lucky bastard who finally gets through all of them will find at the heart of the final tomb... sand. Or something similarly worthless to mock him. Or, it could be like all the movies with treasure, where some kind of explosive destroys all the treasure the moment it's found.
Of course, this raises the question, do you actually have anything the graverobber would want?
Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 2:52 am
by quantus
If the grave robber isn't smart enough to know that you're spending your entire fortune on the elaborate traps and false graves and such, then too bad for the grave robber. Of course, this raises the more important question: How much of your fortune is worth being spent on protecting the remainder of said fortune for eternity.
Also, what currency could you use that you're garunteed will actually be worth something in an eternity?
Between inflation and changes in what people value, chances are people will just end up thinking you were psycho. Of course, that sand you buried might actually turn out to be worth something!
Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 4:34 am
by Jonathan
The problem with being buried in a star or somesuch is that my remains are not preserved, which is kinda the whole point.
I could kidnap enough people to settle a planet and start a religion that I am their savior, and that my tomb is sacrosanct. Might work.
Being shot out of the solar system would work, but it's lame. Also, eventually something with gravity would catch you. And then it's back into being in a star.
Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 12:06 pm
by George
quantus wrote:Of course, that sand you buried might actually turn out to be worth something!
I chose sand because it's made up of the two most common elements on earth IIRC. It almost guarantees that it will never be so rare as to be valuable.
If you build something strong enough, you might be able to stay intact in a lesser environment then the sun, like Jupiter's upper atmosphere or near the bottom of the earth's crust.
If your goal is just to stay intact, you should create a new chamber in an existing historical tomb. Then arrange to have it "discovered". They'll cart you and your treasure off to some museum and you'll be set for the afterlife.
Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 3:03 pm
by Jonathan
Hm. I guess the goal, while nebulous, includes being preserved and in the style and place I originally chose. So museums are out, too.
See, I thought of the earth's crust originally, but it's geologically active. Hence my wish to relocate to the moon.
Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 11:47 pm
by George
Could you use a front company to establish a museum in the appropriate style?