Chuck Norris

Just the urls, ma'am.
Post Reply
Jonathan
Grand Pooh-Bah
Posts: 6722
Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2006 8:45 pm
Location: Portland, OR
Contact:

Chuck Norris

Post by Jonathan »

http://www.spreadshirt.com/shop.php?sid ... id=1172531

You can buy an officially sanctioned T-shirt that has Chuck Norris's likeness with the slogan, "What Would Chuck Norris Do?" (may require some clicking to find because I don't know how to link directly to that design). The profits go to Chuck Norris.

If Mr. T would only do the same thing, I'd be all over that.

Jason
Veteran Doodler
Posts: 1520
Joined: Fri Jul 18, 2003 12:53 am
Location: Fairfax, VA

Re: Chuck Norris

Post by Jason »

Dwindlehop wrote:If Mr. T would only do the same thing, I'd be all over that.
>>
>>Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
>>
>>Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe
>>anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws
>>paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he
>>takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I
>>thought your paper would protect you."
>>
>>When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.
>>
>>The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.
>>
>>Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is
>>folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the
>>situation, he is always understood.
>>
>>Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes ! the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills
>>them.
>>
>>Children are afraid of the dark. Dark is afraid of Mr. T.
>>
>>Mr T. and Chuck Norris decided to spar, they travelled to the only safe
>>place in the Universe, the beginning of time. They bowed to each other and
>>Chuck launched in with a roundhouse kick. Mr. T blocked it, and the
>>resulting pressure wave is commonly called the Big Bang.
>>
>>Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked
>>Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.
>>
>>Mr. T doesn't breathe, air just hides in his lungs for protection.
>>
>>Mr T's chains are not made of gold, they are actually made of curium, one
>>of the heaviest elements in existence. They were put there by the CIA to
>>slow him down, and you're lucky they do, fool.
>>
>>Human females have two X chromosomes. Males have an X and a Y. Mr. T has
>>three Ys and a T. He's more man than you'll ever be.
>>
>>5 out of 5 doctors recommend not p*ssing off Mr. T.
>>
>>When creating the alphabet, Mr. T placed the letters M, R, and T in
>>separate areas so people could learn to read and spell without fear.
>>
>>Mr. T is the reason the sky is blue. Don't ask stupid questions.
>>
>>Mr. T once ate four 72 oz. steaks in 12 minutes. He spent the first 5
>>minutes laughing at the fact it takes Chuck Norris fifteen minutes to eat
>>three.
>>
>>Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast
>>and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the
>>woods.
>>
>>Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then
>>created Pity.
>>
>>When Mr. T was circumsized his foreskin was not disposed of. Instead it
>>was raised as a normal child, and it grew to love the game of basketball.
>>Today we know Mr. T's foreskin as Shaquille O'Neal.
>>
>>23. That's the number of fools Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken
>>you to read this sentence.
>>
>>When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made! his
>>hand prints after the cement was dry.
>>
>>On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise.
>>Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out
>>of fear.
>>
>>Mr. T always drives on the right side of the road, no matter where he is
>>in the world.
>>
>>Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at
>>Denny's forgot his birthday.
>>
>>There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to
>>walk.
>>
>>Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.
>>
>>Mr. T does not actually pity fools. He is just being sarcastic. No one has
>>noticed because it is difficult to pick up such subtleties while being
>>bludgeoned.
>>
>>Gravity dosen't exist. Mr. T just pities everything to stay down. Birds
>>and planes are exempt beacuse they are shaped like Ts.
>>
>>
>>Mr. T was once involved in a head-on car crash, and he was the only
>>survivor. Mr. T was walking at the time.
>>
>>Mr. T once travelled back in time in a telephone booth similar to the one
>>in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure and killed every Jester and Joker in
>>every King's court, because he pitied those fools.
>>
>>Mr. T's mohawk is so scared of Mr. T, that it started running to his beard
>>for help.
>>
>>Mr. T's feather earrings are actually feathers from a foolish bird that he
>>pitied.
>>
>>Everytime an angel sings, Mr. T pities a fool

Post Reply