Recipes

[Jonathan]

Valentine's Carrot Cake

2 loaf pans
grease & flour
350 degrees - 40 or 45 minutes

Mix (whisk) 15 cup regular all purpose flour
1.25 cups sugar
1.5 tsp baking soda
1.5 tsp cinnamon
.25 tsp salt
Add:
2 jars baby carrots
.66 cup vegetable oil
2 eggs (beaten)
.5 tsp vanilla ext.
1 8 oz. (or 15 oz.) can crushed (drained) pineapple
Cool completely before icing

Icing
1 package cream cheese (3 oz.)
.25 cup butter (soft)
.5 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup 10X sugar

Beat together.

[Jonathan]

Valentine's Banana Jam Bread

loaf pans (grease & flour)
350 degrees 45 minutes
Cream .5 cup crisco (8 tablespoons) with 1 cup sugar, add 2 eggs
In another bowl: mash 2 bananas with 1 tsp lemon juice
In another bowl: whisk together 2 cups all purpose flour, 1 tbs baking powder, .5 tsp salt

Add bananas to cream mix
Add flour mix
Add 1 jar strawberry jam
Cool in loaf pan 10 minutes before removing

[Jonathan]

Valentine's Bran Muffins (Raisin)

Whisk together:
1.25 cups all purpose flour
.5 cup sugar
.25 tsp salt
1 tbs baking powder
In another bowl: combine Bran Flakes (Post?) cereal and 1.25 cups milk, 1 egg, and .25 cup vegetable oil
Add flour mixture.
Add raisins (light golden)
Bake 400 degrees 18 minutes in greased muffin tins
I usually only get 10 muffins out of this.

[Jonathan]

Valentine's Beer Bread

Combine 3 cups self rising flour and 3 tbs sugar in large bowl.
Add beer (1 12 oz can, room temperature) until moist.
Spoon into greased & floured loaf pan (9"x5"x3").
Bake at 350 degrees for 55 or 60 minutes.
Cool in pan for 10 minutes.
Top with melted butter (optional).

[Jonathan]

Valentine's Plum Cake

Whisk together:
2 cups self-rising flour
2 cups sugar
1 tsp ground cloves
1 tsp cinnamon
Add:
1 cup wesson oil
3 eggs
3 small jars or 2 large jars plum (apple) baby food
Beat together five minutes.
Bake 325 degrees 60 minutes in 2 loaf pans (9"x5"x3") or 1 hour Bundt pan.
Glaze while warm:
2 cups 10X sugar & juice of 2 lemons

[Jonathan]

Valentine's Pumpkin Pineapple bread

350 degrees 55 minutes
2 loaf pans (greease & flour)

Whisk together:
2 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
2 tsp cinnamon
.5 tsp salt
In separate bowl:
Beat 1.5 cups vegetable oil with 1.5 cups sugar
Add 4 egggs (one at a time)
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup (can) Libby's pumpkin
Add dry ingredients. Beat.
Stir in 15 oz drained pineapple (crushed).

[Jonathan]

Valentine's Orange Muffins (Bread)

Combine (whisk):
3 cups all purpose flour
1 cup sugar
4 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
In another bowl: grate orange peel.
Add 2 eggs (beaten)
1 cup milk
.5 cup orange juice
.5 cup vegetable oil
Add to dry ingredients in bowl. Stir until moist.
Stir in golden raisins.
Spoon into greased muffin pan (375 degrees 30 minutes) or greased and floured loaf pans (350 degrees 55 minutes).

[Jonathan]

Valentine's Blueberry Muffins (Bread)

Cream 1.5 sticks butter with 1.5 cups sugar
Add 3 eggs - Beat well

In another bowl: Whisk together 3 cups all purpose flour,
2.5 tsp baking powder,
1 tsp salt.
Add to creamed mix, alternating with 1 cup mlik that has had 4 tsp lemon juice added to it. Stir in 1 pint fresh blueberries.
Spoon into greased muffin tins or loaf pans greased & floured. Bake 375 degrees for 25 minutes for muffins, 350 degrees 55 minutes for loaf pans.

[Jonathan]

Amber and Jonathan's Brown Sugar Ice Cream

We substituted brown sugar 1:1 for regular sugar in the French vanilla recipe that we had on hand. The result has that yummy brown sugar quality, and is just as sweet as regular ice cream. The next step is to make something (we're thinking fudge) to use as a mixin for the next batch.

Brown Sugar Vanilla Ice Cream

* 2 cups heavy cream
* 1 cup whole milk
* 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
* 2 large eggs
* 3/4 cup brown sugar, packed

Whisk the eggs until fluffy and smooth. Whisk the sugar in a little bit at a time until it is completely blended. Add the other ingredients and mix them together. Follow the directions on your ice cream maker. Makes a bit more than a quart, in our experience.

[Jonathan]

Jonathan's Thick Steak

The following method produces a very tasty steak and manages to do so with a minimum of smoke. The downside is it requires a pan with a metal handle, which is normally found only in your more-expensive cookware.

* 1 oven-safe frying pan
* 2 expensive steaks, the thicker the better
* steak seasoning to taste
* high heat oil

Heat your oven to 500+ F. Do not set it to broil. Allow sufficient time for your oven to become hot; ten to 30 minutes should be sufficient. Place your oven-safe frying pan on the stove on the highest heat (Your pan might not be safe to use on the highest heat. Use the highest heat that your pan can handle). Let the pan become hot.

Season your steak and add a light coating of oil. Put it on the pan and sear it for 30 seconds. When it begins to smoke, turn it over. Place it in your preheated oven on the lowest rack. Close the oven door. Cook it on this side for 3–4 minutes. Turn it over and cook it on the other side for 9–10 minutes. When you remove it, be aware that your oven will be quite smokey. Consider leaving the oven shut with the pan inside, though I cannot vouch for the safety of your pan.

This cooks a 1.5–2 inch steak to a doneness of medium. Adjust the cooking time according to taste. The amount of cooking time to cook a 1 inch steak is dramatically less, maybe 7 minutes total.

[Jonathan]

Cream Drop Biscuits

ingredients

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon sugar
2 cups chilled heavy cream
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preparation

Preheat oven to 400°F.
Stir together flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar in a large bowl. Add cream, then stir just until a dough forms.
Drop heaping 1/4 cups of batter about 1 inch apart on an ungreased large baking sheet. Bake in middle of oven until tops are pale golden and bottoms are golden brown, 18 to 20 minutes.


Read More http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/ ... z24giNWnYv

[Jonathan]

Ebbie's Yeast Rolls


Yeast Rolls
1 1/2 envelopes RAPID RISING yeast
2 tbs water
Soften the yeast with the water in a bowl until the yeast is bubbly. The water should be lukewarm.

1 1/2 cups milk
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup butter
Scald and cool. Let it cool to lukewarm.

1 tblsp salt
2 eggs, beaten
4-5 cups flour

Add yeast to cooled milk mixture. Mix beaten eggs, cooled milk mixture, add salt and flour until dough is rather sticky. Refrigerate overnight or let stand one hour in a warm place with a towel over the top of the bowl.

Oil a round layer cake pan.

Once the yeast has risen, take the dough out and put onto a lightly floured surface. Punch it down. Roll it out to about 1/2 inch thickness with a lightly floured rolling pin. Cut out circles with approximately 2.5 inch diameter. Fold the dough circle in half, pinching the edges together slightly to make them stay put. Crowd the rolls into the oiled pan leaving no space between rolls. Brush melted butter onto the top of each roll.

Bake rolls at 350 degrees F for 20-25 minutes or until golden brown.

[Jonathan]

Lime & Blackberry Italian Meringue Pie
8 servings
Lime curd
1 cup fresh lime juice
3 large eggs
3 large egg yolks
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 unsalted butter, room temperature
1/2 tsp unflavored gelatin
3/4 cup chilled heavy cream

Set a strainer over a medium bowl; set aside. Stir lime juice, eggs, egg yolks, and sugar together in another medium bowl. Set bowl over a large saucepan of gently simmering water (do not allow bottom of bowl to touch water). Whisk until mixture has thickened, the whisk leaves a path when lifted from cured, and an instant-read thermometer registers 175, about 15 minutes. Add butter to curd, one tsbp at a time, whisking to blend between additions. Strain curd into prepared bowl. Press plastic wrap directly onto surface of curd. Chill until cold, about 2 hours. (Do ahead: Can be made 2 days ahead. Refrigerate curd.)
Sprinkle gelatin over 2 tsbp wawter in a small bowl; let stand until gelatin is soft, about 10 minutes, Using an electric mixer, beat cream until soft peaks form. Add gelatin mixture; continue beating cream until just before firm peaks form. Fold whipped cream into lime curd. Cover; chill.


Blackberry compote
1 cup fruity red wine, such as Shiraz or Cabernet Sauvignon
1/2 cup sugar
3 cups blackberries (about 1 1/2 pints)
1 Blind-Baked Pie Crust in a 9" deep-dish glas or metal pie pan

Bring red wine, sugar, and 1/2 cup water to a simmer in a medium saucepan over high heat; reduce heat to medium and simmer until reduced to 1/2 cup, 20-25 minutes. Let cool. Add 3 cups berries; fold gently to coat.
Spread compote in an even layer over baked crust. Spoon lime curd over berries, smooth top, and chill for 1 hour.

Master Pie Crust (make 2 crusts)
3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup chilled unsalted butter, cut into 1/2" cubes
1/4 cup vegetable shortening
1 tbsp plus tsp sugar
1 tbsp kosher salt
Process flour, butter, shortening, sugar, and salt in a food processor until butter resembles tiny pebbles, about 25 seconds, Transfer to a large bowl. Gradually add 3/4 cup ice water, using a fork to stir until dough is a mixture of clumpy wet pieces and sandier pieces, adding more water by tablespoonfuls if dry. Press plastic wrap over surface of dough. Chill in the bowl at least 1 hour or overnight.
Single- or double-crust unbaked pie crust
Divide dough in half. Flatten each half into a disk. On a lightly floured surface, roll out 1 disk into a 13"-14" round. Roll over rolling pin and transfer to the pie dish. Pick up the edges and allow dough to slump inside the dish. Trim, leaving about 1" overhang. (For single-crust pie, fold overhand under and crimp edges.) Chill at least 1 hour or overnight.
Blind-Baked Pie Crust
Preheat oven to 375. Prick chilled crust in pie dish (see instructions, above) all over with a fork. Line crust with foil or parchment paper. Fill with dried beans or pie weights. Bake 25 minutes. Remove from oven; lift out foil and weights. Reduce temperature to 350. Return to over and bake, using fork to prick any bubbles that have formed and pressing down on them with back of fork, until crust is light golden brown, 20-25 minutes longer. Let crust cool completely.

Meringue
3 large egg whites, room temp
1 cup sugar
2 tbsp corn syrup
1/8 tsp kosher salt
1 cup blackberries (about 1/2 pint)

If toasting meringue in oven, preheat oven to 450. Place egg whites in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a whisk attachment. Beat whites in mixer until soft peaks form. Set aside. Stir sugar, corn syrup, and 1/4 cup water in a medium saucepan over medium-low heat until sugar dissolves. Attach a candy thermometer to side of pan. Increase heat to medium-high and boil without stirring, occasionally swirling pan and brushing down sides of pan with a wet pastry brush, until thermometer registers 238, 6-8 minutes. Remove pan from heat.
Meanwhile, beat whites in mixer until soft peaks form. Beat in salt.
Slowly pour hot sugar syrup down side of bowl into whites and beat until meringue is firm and glossy. Continue beating until cool, about 4 minutes. Spoon meringue over lime curd, leaving a 1" plain border, and scuplt decoratively. Tuck 1 cup berries in and around meringue.
Bake pie until meringue is toasted in spots, 3-5 minutes (or use a kitchen torch to broown). Chill for 30 minutes before serving. (Do Ahead: Pie can be made 3 hours ahead. Keep chilled).

[Jonathan]

Jonathan's Fucking Motherfucking Waffles

Ingredients

2 eggs
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 3/4 cups milk
1/2 cup salted butter
1 tablespoon white sugar (I use vanilla sugar when we have it)
4 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions

Melt the butter in the microwave on 50% heat for 40s or until liquid. Let cool. Preheat waffle iron. Beat eggs in stand mixer until iron is preheated.
Combine flour, sugar, and baking powder in a separate bowl. Stir.
Pour the milk and vanilla into the eggs. Add the dry ingredients. Stir briefly. Add butter. Stir until just smooth.
Pour 2 cups of batter onto hot waffle iron. Cook until golden brown. Serve hot.

[Jonathan]

Two heads of romaine hearts (6 0z) 1.5” cut 1 oz. Grated
Parmesan Reggiano Cheese 3/4 oz. Grated Pecorino
Romano Cheese 1/2 oz. Croutons
2 Lemon Halves, coted
1 tsp. Minced Garlic
1 1/2 oz. Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1/2 oz. Anchovies, diced
1/8 oz. Worcestershire (Lee & Perrins)
1/4 Tbsp. Cracked Black Pepper
1 (Pasteurized) Egg*
1 tsp. Dijon Mustard (Grey Poupon)
Method:

Rinse and cut Romaine lettuce and dry completely.
In a wood bowl, emulsify freshly cracked black pepper, anchovies, garlic and Dijon mustard using two forks.
When a nice paste has formed, add Worcestershire and stir.
Add yolk from pasteurized egg and stir.
Add lemon juice, olive oil and stir together.
Add the dried lettuce, Pecorino Romano cheese, and croutons to bowl and toss.
Prepare salad plates by rubbing lemon halves on the bottom of the plates and add cracked pepper. Place salad on
plates.
Top with Parmesan Reggiano cheese. Serve immediately.

Original Caesar Salad - serves 4
http://www.grumpygourmetusa.com/caesar_back_4.JPG

3 Medium Heads Romaine
teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
5 -6 tablespoons grated parmesan cheese
1 cup croutons
salt
garlic flavored salad oil about 1/3 cup
wine vinegar 1 tablespoons
juice of 1/2 lemon
1 raw egg
pepper

I usually make the croutons by taking some slightly stale bread --- a baguette is traditional, but cornbread works pretty ok --- slicing it up, putting enough olive oil in a medium sized bowl to cover the bread, then slicing up a garlic clove and mashing it into the oil to release the garlic oil. Then I dump the bread in and stir until the bread is coated. Then it's onto a pan in a single layer for 7 minutes at 425 or until golden. Golden brown is a bit too crunchy.
While the croutons are cooking, put some water on to boil to coddle your egg.
Combine the 1/3 cup of oil and another clove of garlic, mashing the finely chopped garlic to release the garlic oil into the olive oil. Add the wine vinegar, salt, pepper, and Worcestershire sauce.
I coddle the egg for 60 seconds on high boil and then quench it in cold water so it stops cooking. I usually put it into the stand mixer because I am lazy and don't like to beat it so much. Beat the egg for at least thirty seconds, then slowly drizzle in the oil mixture while continuing to beat the egg until the dressing is thoroughly emulsified. Squeeze the lemon into the result. Voila. Add dressing, cheese, and croutons to lettuce. Enjoy.
Serves four as a side salad but is about right for two entrees (maybe a bit generous).

[Jonathan]

Yeah I Want Some Chicken Pot Pie

Pastry for one pie plus top
1 cup of potatoes, maybe closer to a pound of potatoes if you like potatoes
1 carrot, or 2 if it isn’t huge
1 little onion or shallot
2 cloves of garlic, 3 if they’re small
½ cup salted butter
½ cup flour
teaspoon of salt
pepper to taste
¾ cup milk
1 ½ cups chicken broth
1 pound of boneless skinless chicken
½ cup frozen peas
½ cup frozen corn
Little bit of savory herbs (thyme?)

Preheat your oven to 425.
Peel the potatoes and carrots.
Dice the onion and garlic.
Cube the chicken, potatoes, & carrots into bite-size chunks.

Put the potatoes and carrots into a sauce pan and cover them with water. Put on to boil.
Put some olive oil on a skillet over medium heat and cook the chicken.
Put the butter, garlic, and onion into a pan over medium-low heat and let the onions get soft. Stir occasionally.

When the potatoes start to boil, cover them, turn the heat down to low, and let simmer for 8 minutes. They should come out cooked but firm. Drain them when they’re done.

When the onions are soft, stir in the flour, salt, pepper, and herbs.

if you have a frozen pastry, now may be a good time to thaw.

Gradually work in the broth and milk. Turn the heat up to medium-high until it starts to bubble, then turn the heat back down to to medium low.

Once your fat/flour mixture has thickened, add chicken, corn, peas, carrots, potatoes and remove from heat. Put the result into the pie pan and cover with the pastry. Cut slits into the pastry for venting. Be certain to crimp the sides really well or the gravy will spill out and create a smoky mess in your oven.

Cook for 35-40 minutes or until the crust is lightly brown. Let stand 15 minutes before serving.