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Re: daily awesome

Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2018 2:30 pm
by Jonathan
every rap needs to start with "this beat is trash"

Re: daily awesome

Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2018 12:12 am
by Jonathan
WiFi SSID near my apartment wrote:2 Girls 1 Router

Re: daily awesome

Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2018 7:26 pm
by Jonathan
Best joke I ever heard when they first released pictures of him as Aquaman
“They’re going to be clearing up a common misconception of the character, his powers are actually that he can telepathically communicate with every member of Phish”

Re: daily awesome

Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2018 7:47 pm
by Jonathan
Now comes the part where I ruin your life forever by introducing you to the concept of perianal sweat. That's when perspiration from the area immediately surrounding your nether orifice drips down into your briefs, rapidly turning your entire package into a sweltering biohazard.

Epidemiologists insist that this happens to everyone, even if you won your high school's "driest anus" award four years running.

Re: daily awesome

Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2018 3:04 am
by Jonathan
Shoes. They're like hats for your feet.

Re: daily awesome

Posted: Sat Aug 18, 2018 6:16 pm
by Jonathan
The Onion wrote: “I’ve always said that cargo shorts signal virility.”

Re: daily awesome

Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2018 11:56 pm
by Jonathan
you can’t fight tribalism with a tribe
This didn't come from a good article, but that doesn't make it any less true.

Re: daily awesome

Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2018 10:12 pm
by Jonathan
Fears of Republican Power Grab in Michigan Fade as Governor Vetoes Bill

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/28/us/m ... -veto.html

That's a stand-up dude.

Re: daily awesome

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 3:00 am
by Jonathan
Were you afraid you would blend in, and no one would be able to tell you from the water bottle?

That’s always a fear that you have to have. You’ve got to angle yourself and your bottles just right.

Re: daily awesome

Posted: Fri Mar 01, 2019 4:17 am
by Jonathan
Adefining trait of Donald Trump—and, thereby, of Trumpism—has been abiding avarice frustrated by an equal level of incompetence.

Re: daily awesome

Posted: Tue Mar 19, 2019 10:26 pm
by Jonathan
Throughout Captain Marvel, Carol goes through phases of self-doubt similar to Holly Golightly’s. But unlike Cat, Goose isn’t trying to detach from the madness. Goose is the madness.

Re: daily awesome

Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2019 11:43 pm
by Jonathan
Anandtech wrote:

Code: Select all

AnandTech		Cores			BaseFreq	TurboFreq	L3Cache	TDP	Price
Platinum 9282	56 C /112 T	2.6 GHz	3.8 GHz	77.0 MB	400 W	arm
Platinum 9242	48 C / 96 T	2.3 GHz	3.8 GHz	71.5 MB	350 W	leg
Platinum 9222	32 C / 64 T	2.3 GHz	3.7 GHz	71.5 MB	250 W	foot
Platinum 9221	32 C / 64 T	2.1 GHz	3.7 GHz	71.5 MB	250 W	kidney

Re: daily awesome

Posted: Wed Apr 03, 2019 9:44 pm
by quantus
Jonathan wrote:
Anandtech wrote:

Code: Select all

AnandTech		Cores			BaseFreq	TurboFreq	L3Cache	TDP	Price
Platinum 9282	56 C /112 T	2.6 GHz	3.8 GHz	77.0 MB	400 W	arm
Platinum 9242	48 C / 96 T	2.3 GHz	3.8 GHz	71.5 MB	350 W	leg
Platinum 9222	32 C / 64 T	2.3 GHz	3.7 GHz	71.5 MB	250 W	foot
Platinum 9221	32 C / 64 T	2.1 GHz	3.7 GHz	71.5 MB	250 W	kidney
Huh, a kidney costs less than a foot? Or about the same? Not sure what the actual difference between the last 2 skews are from what's listed...

Re: daily awesome

Posted: Wed Apr 03, 2019 10:04 pm
by Alan
Your second kidney is really just a backup. Whereas if you give up an arm, leg, or a foot you will need to make actual adjustments to your life.

Re: daily awesome

Posted: Sun Jun 23, 2019 7:50 pm
by Jonathan
I do not normally watch Tucker Carlson’s Fox News show, but when the fate of the Earth is at stake, I make an exception.
Right in the hairy edge between awesome and fail.

Re: daily awesome

Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:32 am
by Jonathan
0% bikini girls
0% supercars
0% alchools
100%horses

Re: daily awesome

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 10:51 pm
by quantus
Jonathan wrote:
0% bikini girls
0% supercars
0% alchools
100%horses
My middle child would love that!

Re: daily awesome

Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:55 pm
by Jonathan
Beware the Derp State!

Re: daily awesome

Posted: Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:38 pm
by Jonathan
Friend: what is your spirit animal?
Me: Donald Glover in a lion onesie
As funny as it is true.

Re: daily awesome

Posted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 4:08 pm
by Jonathan
Removed code that caused crashes and kept code that doesn't cause crashes