Amazon.com review of "Knife of Dreams"

[Alan]

Hahaha this review is a probably a better read than the actual book.

http://www.amazon.com/review/RTBURI9K4U ... hisHelpful

Tarmon Gai'don Is Coming......umm.... soon., October 21, 2005
By yesitsmethedarkone "yesitsmethedarkone"
Upon finishing Knife of Dreams, I for one cannot wait until RJ finishes Book 12, and in humble fashion as I bend over I beseech you RJ,

"Thank you sir, may I have another?"

After more than a decade with the WoT, I was overjoyed that the latest installment in the series maintains on several fronts the high quality from RJ and Tor that we all have come to expect.

For starters, the cover. I was thoroughly relieved to see that Darrell K. Sweet still has a commission for the cover art, despite the LEGIONS of nay-sayers. Oh, I'll admit that at first the non-proportional bodies, lackluster depiction of "action", and total disregard for perspective and detail puzzled me for a while, but after some deep soul-searching I realized that Sweet is an utter f***ing genius, and at long last his "style" is unleashed for Knife of Dreams. Always the master of subtlety, what better way to capture the heart-pounding tension rampant throughout Knife of Dreams than with rotund, mullet midget heroes ensconced in what no doubt must be a frothy debate over contour lines. Only Sweet could hint at the petulant, "Oh no you didn't", "Yes I did....but I'll still obey you anyways" drama that RJ utilizes to perfection in his books.

Oh my fine publisher, haven't you realized by now that there's no need for you to pimp RJ with your billboard "Sequel to the Number 1 Best Seller...", that in fact the luscious eye-candy that only the aptly named Sweet provides is more than enough to harken that another RJ epic has at long last arrived?

That said, I was amazed that RJ yet again manages to advance the plot despite the myriad of characters he has introduced us to over previous novels. For instance, Paidan Fain....Paidan....err, ok bad example.

Rand... yes, Rand, he's in the book!...Rand's tale in this epic involves 4.3 chapters of intriugue and action, allowing Jordan to further rip-off Norse mytholo.... umm, allowing Jordan to further incorporate....moving on...

Elayne and the struggle for the Lion Throne are revisited...and revisited....and revisited...and finally concluded.

Herbert's Fremen.... I mean Jordan's Aiel....alright I'll admit even I've lost track of where the hell the tens of thousands of Aiel are outside of the Shaido. Yet the Shaido storyline involving Perrin is finally resolved, and by gods Jordan even manages to involve the Seanchan and more references to Norse.... I mean obscure prophecies in the process.

Mat...he's still considered a primary character, yes? Ahem, I mean... The primary character whose name is Mat has his storyline involving Tuon and the Seanchan advance. Although highly anti-climatic, the details allow Jordan to introduce the possible return of a character long thought dead. In addition, George R.R. Martin's fresh POV... I mean Jordan's choice for a new POV is nothing short of brilliant.

Egwene, or should I call her "MISTER Tibbs", reprises her role as the plucky new Amyrlin now being held within the confines of The White Tower following her cliffhanger capture at the end of CoT. Unfortunately, the Aes Sedai West Wing intrigue we all loved in 8, 9, and 10 is held to a relative minimum.

Jordan also reminds us that the Forsaken and The Shadow are still central to the WoT series, and that even he remembers. Drawing upon scenes in his earlier novels, Jordan has the Forsaken conspiring in yet another clandestine meeting with tea and crumpets, with one even daring *gasp* to intervene with one of the primary storylines. Weevils, ghosts appearing, spoiled food...only a master storyteller such as Jordan could think to utilize such foreshadowing that The Shadow awaits. Less skilled authors might be tempted to merely have their characters becry that "Tarmon Gai'don is coming soon", "Who will ride for Tarmon Gai'don", "Who stands against The Shadow" repeatedly, or "What are you gonna do when Tarmon Gai'don runs wild over you?" without actually moving the plot towards a series-ending-but-thank-god-for prequels-ching-ching climax, but thankfully Jordan refuses to insult his readers and passes on such mundane script.

What he does not pass up on are the typical Jordanisms we as educated readers have learned to love. Only in RJ's delightful world do men fail to understand women, and women fail to understand men.... As you'll read you'll find yourself shouting in frustration to the characters on one page "You fool, she's tugging her braid, watch out!" and laughing heartily on the next. Sing it Jerry Lee, there's a whole lot of Spanking going on, and Jordan rarely passes up on the opportunity to have his female characters enjoy a good smack or two. As in other novels, Jordan continues the development of the characters T and A, and further explores the maniacal intricacies of the Bosom character.

RJ also rewards only his die-hard readers by failing to update the glossary with character/locale/item references for characters, locales, items actually mentioned in the book, reminding the bandwagoners that this gravy train stops for no one and you've either forked the dough for the previous 10 tickets or barring the internet sh*t out of luck.

As for the cons, there are a few. One might imagine that Jordan had actually begun to believe "What was, What will be" and initiated a return to the simply horredous style found in books 1-4, or even 5 and 6. The writing is "tighter", as if an actual editor sat down and used the delete key once and a while. Jordan slips now and then by including poignant scenes such as one with Nynaveave and Lan, reminding readers that they once cared about characters in his stories, although he does quickly return Nynaveave to her dull, book-end position opposite of Min, restoring the readers' faith in the same old Rand sandwich they've come to love lately. As mentioned earlier, the plot does advance, yet not at the pace of the earlier books. Granted, the brilliance found in 7,8,9,and 10 would be far too much to expect one author to sustain indefinitely, but undoubtedly readers spoiled by such masterful manipulation of character and plot will find Knife of Dreams somewhat of a letdown. Constant readers can only pray that "What was, What will be" does not come full circle and Book 12 degenerates into a rehash of the tight, fast-paced arcs found in Books 1-4.

For these reasons, despite the glowing positives in this review, in all fairness this reader can only recommend paperback over hardcover. That you've borrowed from you're local library, or a former friend to whom you've introduced the series. If hardcover is your thing, hunker down at your local bookstore and read KoD there. Knife of Dreams is not as bad as the earlier epics, but it's still a far cry from the preceding 4-5 books. You're reading reviews on Amazon and like all addicts you're going to get your fix one way or another, so you might as well save a few bucks and avoid the "hard"cover stuff. Or save the money for 2010 to use on book 12, the definite *wink wink* last book in this series. I promise I'll actually be in that book, and prove I'm not just a wild tangent RJ thought up and abandoned.

[Alan]

And here's one of "Crossroads of Twilight"

http://www.amazon.com/review/R39I9PDI7N ... hisHelpful

If a review was written like the book..., October 8, 2004
By Zhakrin
PREQUEL TO MY REVIEW

I shook my head incredulously. Light, of all the bloody ashes... I look over to the book. It lies there, as plain as it ever been, as plain as the horns on a trolloc. 700 pages. 700 bloody pages?! Blood and ashes. Of all the boneheaded, stubborn things... Well, there's nothing for it now, I decided, and with a sniff of my nose I looked up from the book, and with a hard sniff, a sniff that in Ebon Dar might make strong men faint and women gasp, I turned sternly towards the keyboard. A memory flashed in my head unbidden. I am not sure where it came from; it could be from any of the nine books that I read before in this series, memories that would have been long resting in the cold, return shelves of the library, or in the scandalous embrace of another. "Blood and ashes," I muttered through my teeth, and despite the gentle weather, I shivered and drew my coat closer to me, folding it carefully.

"I never saw run-on sentences before that extended this long," I brooded darkly. That is, if a reader can brood, and I detected a twinkie in the hard, frozen reaches of my freezer. Readers are just supposed to FAWN at Robert Jordan, and this is most decidedly out of the ordinary. "I am going to write the review," I decided, and light be blasted! But what is it that the review needed? Is it a woman? I frowned, and wringled my nose, a move that is more a force of habit than out of irritation. Women! What does Robert Jordan find so hard to understand about them? I wondered. Light! By the way he talks about them once every paragraph, this novel is more fit as the pre-puberty study of a taraboner stable boy than a fantasy novel! I shook my head, quickly banishing the thought. No, no... perhaps there is some grander conspiracy at work here... The ageless face of an Aes Sedai looked out at my memory, laughing at me, tugging suggestively on my lower intestine and her braid at the same time.

That did it, I decided, I'm really going write a review this time. The memory at the edge of my consciousness tugged again at her braid, hard, and bit her lip as hard as she can. Light, would that woman ever shut up? Women. I can never understand them. I've decided to read the words more carefully, however, the names just started to give me a headache. Bevedine or Beradine? or maybe it is Bevin and Moadine and veradine and bevelleihillbillienineOtwoOneOdine. I can never remember their faces. Only the songs, like some rude limerick, ring mockingly at my ears... "There once was a man with a name like Jordan, sold his book and want to be like Tolkien, so he went out one day and started to write, and next thing you know he screwed the children of light... whitecloaks that is, Altarian sea... "

I sighed, put down my keyboard, and rubbed my eyes. Light! I must be getting on with the review.

CHAPTER ONE: TIME TO BE GONE

The Wheel of Time turns, and Books come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Book that gave it birth comes again. In one Book, called the Tenth Book by some, a Book yet to be written, a Book already burned, a yawn rose in the Crossroads of Twilight. The Yawn is not the beginning, there are neither beginning nor endings in the Wheel of Time (not if Jordan is still paid by the word.) But it is a beginning.

BEGIN REAL REVIEW

OK look here guys, I admit, the first few books had been fun. And you know why? I got one word for you. DragonBall. It is pretty cool when Goku went out and kicked some ass each episode huh? Yeah, one forsaken each book. Super Rand attack. But let's face it. There's only so much that he can DO, before we realized that the Wheel of Time is about as complicated as Pokemon when they are still out there collecting Gym Badges. "I defeat the Aiel Guardian! I receive power-up -- Heron Mark V. 2!"

Yeah. The guy is running out of ideas.

So what does he do? Can he save some shred of dignity and credibility by ending the series gracefully, in an ultimate episode of Wheel of Time Extreme! (tm) and a final showdown between Super Rand W and the Dark One?

No.

He tries to make it into a series of intrigue, of mystery, of boring dialogue.

Which is pretty sad folks. I mean, that kind of depth takes PLANNING. It takes EFFORT. Also, it takes the wisdom of seeing a dead horse, and refrain from beating it.

If you want an in-depth novel, I would suggest Gene Wolfe. Now that is complexity without obfusication, and true depth folks. This book is like watching the Thought of the Day from the Jerry Springer Show.

[quantus]

I'm strangely giddy at the thought that I haven't wasted my time or money on reading these books...

[George]

I dunno. I still enjoy the series. I make fun of it, but I don't regret the time I spent reading it, and look forward to the final book.